Shoplifter Bliss, Denzel the Dullard, and the English Language Slang Saturation.
English is a bizarre language, isn’t it? Why can I be uncomfortable, or be in discomfort; but I can’t be discomfortable, or feel uncomfort? Who dropped the ball on that syntax? It’s no wonder foreign students go to such extreme lengths to learn, and have so much difficulty becoming fluent in English.
I know every generation acquires their own slang, and that’s all fine and good. The “bad” is good movement of the 80’s was acceptable thanks to Michael Jackson (still better to be ‘badass’ than just ‘bad’ I’d say), “Sweet” got hot in the 90’s (I still back it), and I guess we’re onto the 2000’s variation of the 80’s “bad”; “sick” being used to describe really good things. Personally, I don’t use it in my vocabulary (why would you want to describe something positive in terms of vomit?), but I accept it for what it is.
The word “phat” floated around there for a while, until most people got tired of having to specify in mid-comment whether they were saying “fat” or “phat” because others were getting unnecessarily offended.
But for the absolute overuse and excessive overload of slang words, thanks so much, TMZ and other tabloids, for destroying the word “pregnant” for all of us. Is anyone else going to blow their brains out if they hear the words “preggo” or “preggers” again? Can I get a “with child” or simply “expecting” now and then just to keep my ears from bleeding? Don’t wreck pregnancy, it’s supposed to be a good thing.
Is it just me, or does Denzel Washington play the same character in every movie he’s in? I know he’s been in different movies. I know the characters he’s played have had different names and encountered situations that are unique from the others. I even know he’s worn different clothes every time. But haven’t all the characters in all the movies he’s done in the last 10 years all seem like the same cocky, swagger-laden Denzel? Maybe I’m wrong, but all the awards he’s won and publicity he’s received for being a great actor, can we get a little versatility?
Do the people at Wal-Mart, or any other store that has a security sensor at their door, even care if anyone sets off the anti-theft anymore? Have you ever seen one single staff member jump over the desk and hunt down a suspected shoplifter? The customer is walking out of the store, the machine beeps, they stop and turn around in embarrassment, make eye-contact with the clerk, who waves them through, saying, “No problem, you’re fine.” As if they couldn’t have pocketed handfuls of things on their way to the till that they chose not to show the checkout jockey. How many small-time crooks are exploiting this flawed security implementation? Why are we even installing these things anymore? Is the thought of setting off a beep from two towering metal detectors supposed to strike enough fear into our hearts that we don’t even think about stealing?