Home > Pop Culture, Serenity Now Mailbag > Serenity Now Mailbag: On Charlie Sheen and Why Postal Workers Go Crazy.

Serenity Now Mailbag: On Charlie Sheen and Why Postal Workers Go Crazy.

Welcome to the latest edition of the SDC Blogs’ mailbag.  Here’s what’s been on people’s minds as of late:

Letter #1:

Dear Dave,

I would suggest charlie sheen needs to be mentioned in the next SDC blogs.

By the time the licorice monacle appeared in the interview, the verdict was already in.

I successfully ignored Charlie Sheen for the better part of my 28 years, mostly because I never found him that interesting or entertaining.  However, with everyone’s latest obsession over him, I actually quite accidentally took in Sheen’s recent 20/20 interview.  It was quite a spectacle.  What I found most interesting was that inbetween the over-bearing insanity, he would stitch in a few really intelligent quotes here and there that were enough to make you think this guy wasn’t completely gone out of his mind.  That in mind, I decided to jot down his quotes from the interview, place them in either a “Crazy”, “Neutral”, or “Intelligent” category, and let the numbers decide his judgment.  Walk with me, as we mull over the results:

Crazy

I am on a drug, it’s called “Charlie Sheen”. It’s not available, because if you try it once, you will die. Your face will melt off and your children will weep over your exploded body. Too much?

I woke up and decided that I’ve been kicked around and I’ve been criticized, I’ve been the “aw shucks” guy with this bitchin’ rock star life, and I’m finally just gonna completely embrace it, wrap both arms around it, and love it violently, and defend it violently, through violent hatred.

You’re dealing with a high priest Vatican assassin warlock.

These words come from my grand wizard master.

Stay away from the crack, unless you can manage it socially.

Hey kids, your dad’s a rock star. Look at his experiences. Look at what he survived. There are your lessons.

When you have a highly evolved brain, and you’re trying to roll out your humor… that’s on me.

Last time I took drugs, I probably took more than anyone could survive. I was banging 7 gram rocks and finishing them because that’s how I roll, I have one speed — I have one gear, ‘Go’.

[I survive] because I’m me.  I have a different constitution, a different brain, a different heart — I got tiger blood.

You borrow my brain for 5 seconds and just be like, “dude! can’t handle it! Unplug this bastard!” because it fires in a way that isn’t from this particular, terrestrial realm.

If there are drugs in this house, you better find them, and give them to me, immediately.

[in reference to his past drug use and resulting actions] I’m proud of what I created, it was radical.

Yes, I drink water through my eyes.

I’m a peaceful man, with bad intentions.

What makes you a good dad?  Everything.  Next question.

What’s not to love? Especially if you saw how I party, it was epic. The run I was on made Sinatra, Flynn, Jagger, Richards, all of them, all look like droopy eyed, armless children.

Reporter: “Do you two sit down with your daughters and talk about what’s happening?” Sheen:  “ No, that’s kinda lame. They’ll wake up one day and realize how cool dad is, and that signs the cheques on the front, not the back, and that we need him, and his wisdom and his bitchin-ness.” 

Total Score: 18

Neutral

Dying’s for fools.

We win, so radically in our underwear before our first cup of coffee, it’s scary. People say it’s lonely at the top, but I sure like the view.

I’m not interested in what other people believe, I’m interested in what I believe.

As long as you’re not lying to anybody, and there’s no children involved, then it’s ok. People are going to judge it because they’re so jealous.

I expose people to magic.  I expose people to something they’re never otherwise going to see in their boring normal lives.

I’m Bi-winning.

We just win.

They’re the best at what they do, and I’m the best at what I do, and together it’s on.

Total Score: 8

Intelligent

It’s fun, and it’s entertaining, and it sounds different than all the other garbage people are spewing.

Because I’m honest. And I think the honesty shines through in my work and also my personal life. Part of that code is apologizing when you’re wrong.

When you’re people pleasing, your soul is dead.

I don’t care if it’s my dad, or the guy down the street, or someone that fell out of the sky, back off with your judgment.

And then what’s the cure? Medicine? To make me like them? Not going to happen.

Total Score: 5

 

 

I’m sorry Charlie, but the numbers don’t lie.  You’re bonkers, man.

*********************************************** 

Letter #2:

Dear Dave,

Why are all post office workers always so sad?

I’m going to let everyone’s favorite United States Postal Worker, Seinfeld’s Newman, field this one, as he can answer it better than anyone:

I think that about wraps it up.

 

  1. ryley
    March 15, 2011 at 8:58 pm

    Mr.sheen is a curious case indeed. I don’t believe he’s as crazy as most people think he is. Nor do I believe he’s as smart as he or other people think he is.
    He’s an addict. End of story. Let’s all move on and leave him be. He’ll either sort himself out or he won’t. It just seems so tiring that we can put so much focus on a guy who isn’t doing anything beneficial for himself or others around with how he’s behaving.

    • SDC
      March 15, 2011 at 10:57 pm

      Good sumation. Unfortunately, people don’t have the ability to move on and leave him be, because media people keep putting him on TV (and when they don’t, he broadcasts himself), because they know there’s money to be made off of him. Charlie knows this too, and while neither party is doing anything to humanely benefit others like you said, they both sure are benefiting themselves financially. This is our world, Riley….

  2. ryley
    March 15, 2011 at 9:11 pm

    and…..
    “When you control the mail.you control……..information”

  3. ryley
    March 16, 2011 at 9:49 am

    The thing I have a problem with is my kids are going to ask me what I watched when I was younger. And I’m going to have to tell them about the media of our time portraying the most negative things because as you said ‘it benefits them financially’. Its s sad day when shows like jersey shore are getting watched over say a discovery channel document or something actually informative. Or hey whatever happened to reading?

    • SDC
      March 16, 2011 at 10:19 pm

      But the kicker is that you will be able to parlay to your kids that though those things were on, their dad (you) was smart enough to be able to tell the difference between absorbing information meant to educate, and information meant to entice you to buy the products of the advertisers who paid to have their commercials broadcast during the idiot box shows, so that they, the producers, and the actors can all profit from making people dumber.

      Discovery Channel has some awesome shows. So does PBS, in particular a show called NOVA. You should check it out sometime.

      Reading is interesting; not just because I hate doing it, but because people are so stuck on the idea that words have to be read off of a printed sheet of paper, pressed together in a bound book for it to count as actually reading. You’re reading this right now, aren’t you? Walk down any store’s magazine aisle, or even a bookstore, and try to tell me that for every one printed publication that is educational and intellectually beneficial, that there isn’t at least one that is a total and complete dumbing agent on the shelf right next to it. I don’t see how it matters what medium is used to deliver good information to you, as long as it actually gets in your brain.

  4. ryley
    March 18, 2011 at 10:02 am

    I look at reading as a way to stimulate your brain because you usually won’t have any pictures or pre-conceived visuals. I think it helps stimulate your imagination. So to me its not so much my brain taking in the words. Its that my brain has to make an image with the words that I’m taking in. Of course the context of what your reading makes a difference. Reading Mike” the situations” Jersey Shore’s dos and donts to me wouldn’t help accomplish any of those things.
    And to me personally I know if I sit down and watch a movie for 2 hours after the movie I feel like just being lazy. I can read for two hours and still feel like I want to be active and sociable

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