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Archive for August, 2011

Cranial Cleanse: Brain On Shuffle — Questionable Cerebral Activity.

August 29, 2011 Leave a comment

As per evolutionary theory, Nudists should either become extremely hairy to keep warm and technically devolve back into monkeys, shouldn’t they? The evolutionary theory, of course, being that creatures adapt to their surroundings to survive? Seems like instead of putting clothes on to keep warm (which they are refusing to do), their bodies/brains should automatically switch on the “grow more hair to keep warm” button. Maybe Sasquatch sightings are really devolved nudists? If they don’t devolve, maybe nudists will go extinct all together.

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Speaking of questionable brain functions, what’s the deal with the mass worm suicides when it rains? Who’s the idiot worm spearheading the campaign call for every worm everywhere to surface when it starts raining, and then shrivel up and die all over my driveway? These worms must be the cult leaders of the worm world. Also, who knew there were that many worms?

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From my freezer, 5 minutes ago. I could take this same picture of different bananas every month.

Why do people insist on freezing their rotten bananas? As good as your intentions may be, and as good as banana bread is, you know you’re never going to make it. So just throw them away when they go bad.

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Why do people want you to smell bad things? Why is it that whenever something smells bad, there’s always someone who says, “aww man, this smells awful! Hey, come over here and smell this!” It smells BAD, moron, what makes your brain think this is a characteristic I look for in things I wish to smell?

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How useless is the “let me know if you don’t get this” email message? How would you know you didn’t get it? Should I reply to a non-existent email to confirm my not having received the message?

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Yahoo! Answers might be the most useless page on the internet. Yahoo Wrong/Irrelevant/Speculative-at-best Answers would be a more accurate name for that website.

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anti-biotics, pro-biotics….. cripes, do I want biotics in my body or not??? Is there a neutral biotic?

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HD TV technology has made me realize how much makeup sportscasters wear on-air during broadcasts. Seems a little uncalled for, like when they make elementary school boys wear red lipstick and makeup to perform in school musicals.

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Quite the audacity by Shell, thinking they can change the index/middle finger v-shape peace sign to stand for their V-Power gas instead.  Look Shell, you’re worth a lot of money, but YOU CAN’T REPLACE PEACE WITH THE MOST EXPENSIVE GRADE OF YOUR GASOLINE.

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There should be a rule that u must have seen the movie “What About Bob?” before you’re allowed to use the term “baby steps” in conversation.

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Dear all news shows, just stop broadcasting and start syndicating The Daily Show instead of your stuff. It’s far better material.

HGFC 2011 Player Profile: Bryan Trottier

August 1, 2011 Leave a comment

This edition’s Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp player bio features former New York Islanders and Pittsburgh Penguins player/Colorado Avalanche coach, Bryan Trottier; who will be making his 4th HGFC appearance this August, and will be co-hosting the event alongside Bob Bourne.

Bryan Trottier appeared in 1,279 NHL games from 1975 to 1994. Drafted by the New York Islanders in 1974, he would go on to win the Calder Memorial Trophy as the NHL’s rookie of the year in 1975-76. He spent most of his Islander days playing on a line with Mike Bossy and fellow HGFC pro, Clark Gillies. Known as the “Trio Grande”, they were a formidable line combination. In 1980, Trottier would help the Islanders win their first of four consecutive Stanley Cups. At the dawn of the 90’s, Trottier was dealt to the Pittsburgh Penguins, where he would again collect Stanley Cups in bunches. Playing alongside Mario Lemieux and Jaromir Jagr, Trottier was instrumental in the Penguins collecting 2 consecutive championships. Trottier would briefly retire after winning his 6th Stanley Cup, and took a front office job with the New York Islanders. Trottier was lured back to the Penguins as a player for one final season in 1993-94, before retiring from his playing days for good. He stayed on with the Penguins as an assistant coach until 1997, and moved on to coach with the Colorado Avalanche in 1998; where he won his 7th and final Stanley Cup in 2001.

In international competition, Trottier suited up for Team Canada at the 1981 Canada Cup, though Canada would lose to Russia in that year’s final. Three years later, Trottier claimed US citizenship through his heritage and competed on the American roster of the 1984 Canada Cup; a move that was not received well by Canadian fans. Canada went on to beat Sweden in the finals, and the US team finished fourth.

In addition to his 7 Stanley Cup championships, Trottier

collected a sizeable bounty of individual awards over his NHL career as well, including the Art Ross Trophy as the NHL’s top scorer in 1979; the Conn Smythe Trophy as the NHL’s playoff MVP in 1980; the Hart Memorial Trophy as league MVP in 1979; and the King Clancy Memorial Trophy as the player who best exemplified leadership qualities on and off the ice and who had made a significant humanitarian contribution to his community in 1989. He appeared in 8 NHL all-star games, was the NHL’s plus/minus leader in 1979, and was inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame in 1997. His #19 was retired by the New York Islanders in 2001.

Trottier currently sits at 10th in all-time NHL playoff points (184), and 15th all-time in NHL regular season points (1,425). He is also the New York Islanders’ all-time leader in assists (853), total points (1,353), plus/minus (+470), and games played (1,123).

**HGFC Fun Factoid: Bryan Trottier suited up for the Pittsburgh Phantoms of Roller Hockey International (RHI) during the 1994 roller hockey season. In 9 games, Trottier had 9 goals, 13 assists for 22 points, as well as a +2 rating.**

Don’t miss your chance to meet and play with NHL legend Bryan Trottier at this year’s Hockey Greats Fantasy Camp!

For further information on the camp please visit http://www.hockeygreats.ca or call direct to Val 250-878-7871.

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