Archive for August 12, 2009

Divide and Double: The Maximization of Oreo Deliciousness.

August 12, 2009 1 comment

While there are many great cookies out there, the Oreo remains the standard in biscuit greatness.  Not only is it a great cookie on its own, but it’s extremely versatile.  It’s sort of like the iPhone of cookies, considering how many apps you can add to improve an already superior confectionary item.  Consider the following upgrades to the standard 2 chocolate biscuit, one filling layer Oreo:

1)      The Double Stuff.  Twice the amount of the best part of the cookie.  The people at Nabisco heard the voice of the people, recognized what was working, and then multiplied it.  There are no wrong turns here.

double up on the white stuff.

double up on the white stuff.

2)      Neon Oreos.   Generally introduced into the wild around Halloween (though my research tells me there are also Holiday Christmas time colors), these blindingly bright variations go 80’s on you, and throwback fluorescent orange and green.  Kids can’t get enough.

3)      Vanilla Oreos.  For those who aren’t as keen on chocolate, dial these in.  Vastly underrated.   

Check out the Wikipedia article for all former and current Oreo formations.

Now, sure, you could just stuff these delectable’s in your mouth and call it a day.  No one would fault you for that.  But there’s just so much farther you can go with them, and you really owe it to yourself to investigate.  Delving into technique, most Oreo consumers support a shell separation (pulling the chocolate pieces apart).  I support this, and I run a little farther with it.  Some people would simply lick, stick, maybe milk dunk, and end there.  My Oreo eating technique unfolds as follows:

1)      Separate cookie.  A clean break is key; ideally you will have all filling on one side, and the other side empty.  I employ a counter-clockwise twist to get the job done.  It may take a few sacrifices to get what you’re looking for.    

2)      Separate another cookie, following instructions laid out in step 1.

3)      Fielder’s choice with the now empty chocolate cookie sides.  I subscribe to “dinner before dessert” theory, so I eat these first.  You may choose to discard them altogether. 

4)      Take your filling filled halves, lick both sides for adhesive purposes, and combine them to create a makeshift double stuff Oreo.

5)      Dunk newly formed Oreo in milk.  A shorter glass is best, as to avoid the drop and sink.  If an Oreo falls into a tall glass, you risk having to chug the entire glass to rescue the cookie from sogginess.  You will also waste your milk for following munchings.  The best dunk technique I’ve adopted is the pointer finger and thumb pinch on the outside and inside of one of the cookie shells, and lowering the cookie into the milk and securing an entire dousing, while minimizing dipping your own fingers in the milk.  You want your Oreo to have just enough milk absorbed so that it’s no longer crunchy, but also not soggy.  Finding the happy medium will take practice.

The only greater Oreo than one that has followed the preceding instructions, is the double-stuff Oreo that has followed the preceding instructions.  For those of you who successfully got through grade 1 Math, one double stuff (2) plus another double stuff (2), equals a Quadruple-Stuff Oreo.  That’s right, four layers of awesomeness in one cookie.

As far as I’m concerned, these are the best ways to maximize your Oreo consummation pleasure.  Enjoy!

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