Home > Humor, Random/Rants > Inflation of Panhandler Rates, Onion Sombreros, and The Lululemon Deception.

Inflation of Panhandler Rates, Onion Sombreros, and The Lululemon Deception.

I was walking down the street earlier this summer when I was approaching a panhandler.  As I drew nearer, I reached into my pockets in anticipation of the spare change request.  Around the same time my hand was revealing itself from my pocket with a few nickels and/or dimes, the panhandler said, “Excuse me sir, could you spare $5000?”

Taken a back, and a little amused, my hand returned to my pocket with the change, and I replied laughingly with something to the tune of, “dude, if you get someone to give you that, I’ll be asking you for money.” I needed that change for the parking meter anyways.

True story.

                           *****

There seems to be an influx of male humans carrying on with their lives, under the impression that it, for some reason, became “ok” to wear Lululemon clothing.  Alright, alright, yoga is becoming a bit of a trend, and people like to do it, it decreases the chance of you dying in the near future, so I guess these yoga people  need very specific stuff for it.  That’s fine, stretch all the spandex on yourself you need to… IF YOU’RE A GIRL. All I’m saying is that there’s plently of manly workout gear out there, and this stuff ain’t it.  Please refer to Figure A below for further clarification:

Figure A

Figure A

The symbol is a woman’s haircut, a “bob” if you will.  It’s clear Fubu theory (For Us By Us, brand speculatively supposed to be only for black people), and all who oppose it are clear posers.  This stuff’s for girls fellas, get over it. 

                          *****

The funniest commerical bit on TV right now, is the following threat by the brain to the eyeball that he will have to wear “The Onion Sombrero” all day if he can’t get along with the tongue.

The sheer visual imagery of an eyeball, sitting on its own, in the corner wearing an onion sombrero is comical/torture genius.  I mean, who’s manufacturing onion sombreros?  What’s the demographic there?  It just can’t be a thriving business.  It must just be like a gimmick product that a regular sombrero shop makes from time to time, to garner interest in the store.  Luckily for the brain, he happened to be guiding his human, via the eyeball mind you, past the sombrero store during that time.  Obviously they went into the store and purchased one, or else the threat would be useless.  The beauty of it is that the eye would’ve seen it first, and then was forced to send the visual reception signal and information to the brain, whom then would, in turn, eventually use it as a threat of consequence for unruly behavior.  The brain probably forced the eyelids open as he sensed them trying to close the eyes.  That brain is a wily one, methinks.

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  1. Stacy
    August 27, 2009 at 10:42 am

    Dave – where did you hear that the lululemon logo is a girl’s bob? Is that “official”? I know the original owner/manager in Edmonton was told that it may have been one of three things – not just a girl’s bob. And what about guys who take yoga? Can they not wear the same type of clothes that girls wear to yoga? (PS – it’s not spandex either. Cotton and luon.) I know a number of manly men – my husband included – who wear lululemon all the time. They make fantastic zip-up hoodies for spring and fall, great running gear and the yoga line. These products also come from non-sweat shop factories – something that most other (read: Nike) athletic brands can’t say. If you care about people and their working conditions, you can’t beat lululemon!
    As much as I desagree with you re: lululemon, I can’t help but laugh about the onion sombrero. True genius that one!

    • davecunning
      August 27, 2009 at 8:50 pm

      I’ve never heard an official declaration at like a press conference or anything, but I mean look at it. Tell me that’s not a girl’s bob, and then not feel guilty about lying afterwards. I guarantee that now that I’ve brought this point up, you’ll never look at the symbol the same way again.
      Why can’t guys who do yoga wear what girls wear to yoga? The same reason that they don’t (hopefully, anyways) bring purses instead of wallets to said yoga class, BECAUSE THEY’RE FOR GIRLS. I will not believe that Lululemon is the ONLY sport garment manufacturer that doesn’t make their product in a sweatshop, surely there’s another acceptable, male friendly, brand out there.
      You and your husband are now aware, the test will be what you do with this new information. It is your job as a loving wife to maintain your husband’s masculinity when it may be in danger! You wouldn’t let him out of the house with spaghetti sauce all over his face, would you?? Nor should you let him carry on wearing girl clothes!

  2. karm
    August 27, 2009 at 4:41 pm

    wow… wrong on so many different levels…
    a. the lululemon symbol is a stylish “A”, as the company was once known as “Athletically Hip”….
    b. have you ever even been into a lululemon… i mean besides the one time you bought me pants…3 years ago…. open your eyes, it has a huge line of stylish men’s clothing…
    c. what do you presume men wear while practicing yoga?
    d. the men’s line of lululemon are not tight fitting pants hugging a man’s every curve, they’re very practical…. and by buying them you’re supporting a canadian company…
    e. and lastly, how dare you super-impose my face into the symbol and make it look like i approve of your rant… delete my face immediatly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    • davecunning
      August 27, 2009 at 8:53 pm

      A. It’s a girl’s bob.
      B. I have been in there, and there is men’s stuff. That doesn’t make it right.
      C. ANYTHING besides a girl’s brand of clothes.
      D. I don’t believe you, and I’m pretty sure Canada has more than one company.
      E. It’s not you, but the next one may be!

      • KimPossible
        September 11, 2009 at 11:59 am

        Sorry, just getting caught up on the blogs you’ve written, don’t mean to dig up old hard feelings. But I must say, your wife’s rant made me giggle 🙂

  3. August 27, 2009 at 8:21 pm

    LOL that $5000 request was pretty funny.

  4. August 27, 2009 at 8:22 pm

    p.s the Coke zero commercial…. SUCH a lame commercial….way over played.

    • davecunning
      August 27, 2009 at 8:53 pm

      I clearly disagree, but you’re entitled to your opinion. It is an older commercial now, I’ve just put off writing about it.

  5. Stacy
    August 27, 2009 at 11:32 pm

    Dave – the other option that I know of is that photo is an artist’s interpretation of the female internal reproductive system. Now YOU look at that photo and tell me that YOU’LL “never look at the symbol the same way again.” It doesn’t help me prove that men can wear it – just don’t be so sure that it’s a bob! It very well could be a stylish “a” as your lovely wife pointed out (I think we would get along very well), or just a symbol. Like the Nike swoosh.
    I’m sure that a ton of clothing stores first started selling women’s clothing and then added a men’s line. Does that mean we should not buy at those stores either? And how many sporting brands started out just for men and the added a women’s line? Should us ladies not wear those clothes? I’m not getting your point Davey.

    • davecunning
      August 27, 2009 at 11:55 pm

      clearly we can both agree that this line of product is AT LEAST rooted in femininity. My feeling is that if Lulu (tell me that’s not feminine either) wants to garner male attention, then make some changes that are of a unisexual nature (example: don’t have a symbol that is a girl’s haircut and/or reproductive system).

  6. Rob Cunning
    August 28, 2009 at 12:29 am

    I can’t believe there are people trying to justify lululemon for men. Yeah sure the clothing may work functionally for men, but the logo has solidified itself as a symbol of femininity, regardless if it looks like a “bob” or not. Try to sell a straight man a stylized, compartmentalized purse catered for male stuff. I guarantee it won’t work because a purse is a FEMALE symbol…and even if our bad side wanted it, we would never want to be seen with it in public.

    You can sometimes add a womens clothing line from a mens store with success but never the other way around. It would be an awkward fad at best. In our western society it has never worked and never will. If it did work, there would be a lot more stores than lulu doing it

  7. Stacy
    August 28, 2009 at 8:43 am

    FYI – my husband also has a “purse”. They came out not too long ago and are available in many upper scale men’s stores. And some that are not upper scale too. Sure you have to be confident to wear one, but not homosexual!
    Dave, is your beef really with the logo? If the logo was a random design that did not look “womanly” would it really matrer?

    • davecunning
      August 28, 2009 at 11:22 pm

      well, the fact that you’re allowing, nay, encouraging your husband to carry a purse is mildly alarming. But that’s just my opinion…
      My beef certainly is rooted in the logo’s ingrained femininity. If it was a picture that was not so directly feminine, I’m sure I would change my tune. It’s just so clearly only on one side of the tracks to say that it’s cool that men take part too.

  8. August 28, 2009 at 11:26 am

    I so agree with you, Dave. Lulu is not manly, and neither is a murse (a man-purse). Metrosexuals aren’t manly either. It’s manly to go into Lulu stores to purchase clothing items, but ONLY if those items are for those of the female persuasion!

    I like your stand on manliness. Keep it up, bro.

    • davecunning
      August 28, 2009 at 11:24 pm

      *Burp* *grunt* *scratch* Gooooooo men! Well said! I will continue to fight this war on behalf of all deceived males!

  9. ryley
    September 10, 2009 at 8:01 pm

    Dave I agree with you 100%.females have lulu, males have under armour. Simple as that. If men wanted to do yoga. Pickup UA heatgear? It works just as well (if not better) without having to have a big female bob on ur clothing

  10. davecunning
    September 11, 2009 at 1:45 am

    great point Ryley. Under Armour’s probably the manliest workout gear currently available, though they do offer a female wing. It works fine however, because their symbol is NOT A GIRL.
    Under Armour–available at your local Source for Sports (do I get something free for that?)!
    Make sure you lock in your vote for men only!

  11. Jenna
    September 23, 2009 at 3:00 pm

    yeah its a stylized “A” for lululemon “Atheltica”. It is unfortunate it looks like a haircut but its surely not. I understand how there is a male bias against lulu for catering to females and truth be told – it does. However, the clothes really are functional and are well designed for any casual or serious male athlete, and it will be hard for any guy to get into a pair of pants and not feel self concious if he’s concerned other people are judging him for the logo. In that case, I beleive it becomes and personal issue with the gentleman himself and the way he perceives and honours other people’s opinions and not the fault of the company.

    • davecunning
      September 23, 2009 at 3:39 pm

      I’m self conscious about guys making fun of me for wearing girls’ clothes, and of girls making fun of me for wearing their clothes, hence my stated stance on wearing Lululemon.

      I can’t see the stylized “A” (it looks more like a greek Omega than any other character), but regardless, at least you agree that the target of majority is a female consumer base.

  12. No
    February 22, 2012 at 8:58 pm

    Anyways isn’t a word.

    • SDC
      February 23, 2012 at 12:30 am

      thanks for the tip. Good thing this is just a blog!

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