Home > Humor, Query, Random/Rants > Elevator Rage Elevation, Ironic Trust, Chubby Chicken, and The Worst-Kept-Secret Service.

Elevator Rage Elevation, Ironic Trust, Chubby Chicken, and The Worst-Kept-Secret Service.

 

Do we still have to call them the “Secret Service” if everyone knows about them and can easily identify them?  Considering they let random, un-invited people into Presidential functions, are they even performing

Don't even worry about fitness, they accept old fat guys too. They absorb bullets easier.

the “Service” portion of their title anymore?  Hilariously, you can even go to www.secretservice.gov and click “Who We Are” under the “About” tab, and presumably learn … who … they … are?  Isn’t that a secret too?  Also, don’t worry about being approached by a man in a trenchcoat in a dark alley one night who recruits you and makes yo give up your identity to join the service… all you have to do is click under the “Employment” tab.  Methinks this program is in need of a revamp…

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In a health-conscious age, What in the world was A&W thinking, calling some of their poultry items “Chubby Chicken”?  That’s right up there with calling your joint “Fatburger”, which I just learned, is partially owned by Queen Latifah.  Follow up with your own joke, if you can connect the dots.  There’s a couple of talent agents out there that need to be punched in the face for giving their clients the ol’ “No press is bad press” routine.

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Is it interesting to anyone else that after years of TV, radio and newspaper reporters hunting down stories, embellishing reports, and generally burying people to get their piece in print or on the evening news; that these very same news outlets are going under with the rest of the economy, and are looking for their federal governments to bail them out with the tax money they collect from the very same people that they slander (To be fair, of course their are many outlets that report correct, informative and unbiased material)  The very politicians they’re requesting funds from probably take some of the worst of it all.  Should we let them just fade away?  Probably not; but that’s not to say it wouldn’t be justified in some cases.

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Does it infuriate anyone else when they go into an elevator, select their desired floor, press the “door close” button ( –> <–), and the door DOESN’T CLOSE?!?!?  What in the world is the function of this button if it doesn’t perform the only logical duty its pictorial reference indicates?  Why install a button to tease people?  Is there a guy hiding in the rafters keeling over laughing every time someone presses the button and gets mildly annoyed while they have to wait for the elevator door to close on its own?

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For a culture that has been fuelled on paranoia of criminal activity for so long, there are at least 2 situations that seem to be impenetrable by fear of bad things happening.

First, the airport.  No, we’re still afraid of terrorists hijacking planes, BUT we sure don’t seem too worried about our luggage, do we?  We haphazardly bring it up to the agent, weigh it, tag it, drop it off like a first-grader at school, and send it on its way through that little door out to the back; and then trust that no one in a group of hundreds will steal our bags when we get to our destination and they come falling down the chute and onto a rotating conveyor belt that anyone can easily snag without question from an authority.  Usually, you get your bags; but we absolutely throw a tantrum when we don’t.  I do think the system moves luggage from a to b faster than a formal bag identification system would; but it’s at least interesting that we’ve allowed airlines to handle our possessions in this way for so long and never made much of a scene about it, isn’t it?

Second, the ski-resort outdoor ski/snowboard rack.  You’re up on a very public hill with hundreds of other people, you stop for lunch or some other reason, and prop your plenty expensive skis or board up against the rack; unlocked, without a care in the world.  You come back and hope that no one’s rode off with your $800 board and $500 bindings, or similarly priced ski stuff.  Seems to work though, I’ve still got all my stuff.

 

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  1. Braden
    January 18, 2010 at 10:31 am

    On a note about airports & luggage.
    I find it really interesting that our luggage is barcoded and everything at the check in counter but somehow our luggage can get “lost” in the shuffle. They seem to notice when there is an unclaimed piece of luggage on the carosel, or when our luggage was checked in but that you never boarded the plane. What about the other scenerio, when you’ve boarded and your luggage hasn’t – they don’t notify you, they wait till you come to them and then they have no clue where it might be.
    When we “lost our luggage” on our cruise, I passed by a sectioned off area for unclaimed luggage in the airport and saw the magnatude of lost black luggage. I was told by our ship, that they’d have to sort through the luggage to find ours. You’d think with today’s technology, you’d be able to track where it was placed and make our lives easier. Just make sure your luggage is insured with AirCanada, because for sure it won’t land with you and then you’ll be able to go on a shopping spree for a nice new leather jacket and wait till your luggage arrives the next day.

    • January 18, 2010 at 5:25 pm

      haha yeah, Air Canada loves to strategically not pack your plane with your luggage; they always seem to put it on the next flight to your destination for some reason. They must love having people scream at them. Keeps someone employed, I guess.

      What’s the time period you have to wait for stuff to show up before you can make a claim? I almost had to get all new hockey gear one Christmas because mine didn’t show up at school one year at college.

  1. October 22, 2010 at 12:12 am
  2. November 21, 2010 at 11:32 pm

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