Home > Humor, Random/Rants > Lingering Legalization, Uber-Donkulous Advertisements, and The Folgers Fascade.

Lingering Legalization, Uber-Donkulous Advertisements, and The Folgers Fascade.

At least all he has to do today is eat, sleep, poop, and sniff butts. You got nothing better than that going on?

If “the best part of (you) waking up is (really) Folgers in your cup”, then you’ve got a real problem, and you should probably look into a form of rehabilitation.  You’re telling me you have nothing better to look forward to in the next pending 24 hours than a stupid cup of coffee?  There’s more to life, man…

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It’s amazing that stoners masquerading around as medical marijuana lobbyists (the fake ones I mean, don’t email me about your serious condition that requires it, I get it) really think that our governments are going to someday give into their supposed logical arguments of federal revenue from its taxation, and just let them all get high anytime they feel like it.  Give it up already, it’s over.  The Marijuana Party will never have a majority or minority government.  It’s never going to be legal for you to be higher than or equal to Snoop Dogg with arthritis on a Scandanavian vacation.  If even California vetoes it, it’s time to move on, munchie-mongrels. 

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My wife has a hair product called “Frizz-Ease”.  Women, you really want to exchange money for a product, and willingly put something on your head that rhymes with disease?  Really?  Is it boggling at all to anyone else that people sit around in meetings, agree, and approve as a group, names like this as good ideas to sell their products?  I suppose no more boggling than the consumers who bite on their advertisements.

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I’m officially done hearing, and I would like everyone else to officially stop saying, “uber” in reference to adjective enchancement.  Also, “re-donk-ulous”, an inflated version of ridiculous; apparently so atrocious, it’s been blended with a donkey.  It got a few laughs, but it’s time to call it.  Everyone on board?  Cool.  Good talk. 

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Do you think the people at Pro-Activ (you know, the people that promise to give you back your lost self-esteem and sense of self-worth after their acne products clear up your mangled skin) are equal opportunity employers?  Do you think an adequately or over-qualified individual who happened to have visible acne would be hired on equal grounds as a person without acne?  I think the people with acne should be hired ahead actually, on the grounds to be used as before and after examples.  If it really works, these people should be clear as day when they’re done their cycle.  Not like bodybuilders pushing the latest creatine or protein supplement, crediting that substance for all the muscles they had far before they started using the stuff.    

Serenity Now!!

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  1. April 1, 2010 at 2:24 am

    i take offence to the medical marijuana part.

    • April 1, 2010 at 9:03 am

      haha… on what grounds?

      I thought I was being nice to the people who require it for a legitimate medical condition…

  2. ryley
    April 1, 2010 at 8:08 pm

    So dave do you object to marijuanna being legalized or do you believe that it is in turn just a ‘pipe’ dream (plz excuse the pun)

    • April 1, 2010 at 11:11 pm

      I object to legitimate stoners passing off their arguments as sincere in wanting to help other people, when all they really want to do is not get busted for growing and smoking weed. Pun excluded, pipe dream it is.

  3. ryley
    April 5, 2010 at 3:17 pm

    Well in a way legalization would “help” a little bit. It is undoubtebly creates revenue. Now having that money go to the gov’t rather then drug dealers would be a good thing I would assume. Also theoretically making it gov’t sanctioned eliminates the need for “dealers” of that substance. Those are just two examples of it ‘possibly’ helping. Whether it gets legalized or not makes no dif to me but iv always been curious as to why alchohol got an ok when weed never did

    • April 5, 2010 at 9:35 pm

      I get all the “rational” arguments for it, but I just don’t agree with it. I mean, if it all of a sudden became legal tomorrow, would you just get your hands on as much as you could and just start puffing away? I’m sure a lot of people would, but I know I wouldn’t just start. The alcohol arugment is interesting though; I sometimes think if the government had just stuck to its guns during prohibition, eventually things would’ve cooled down. In the end, the less dependency crutches people have to blame their squandered money and lives on, the better.

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