Home > Humor, Nature, Query, Random/Rants, Sports, Technology > Why Roberto Luongo is Like A Fax Machine, The Crustacean Job Crunch, and the European Style Excuse; amongst others.

Why Roberto Luongo is Like A Fax Machine, The Crustacean Job Crunch, and the European Style Excuse; amongst others.

I’d like to take a moment to thank you folks, my loyal and/or re-routed from links on other websites’ audience.  Last month was again, an all-time high for reads, and marked the 10,000th read of this non-sense.  That’s a pretty low readership compared to other bloggers, but I think it’s pretty good for a guy who rattles off his random thoughts at 2 am 5 times a month.  It’s fun to see that people read this stuff, and voluntarily choose to come back again.  I’ve even had a few of you mention to me in person that you read and enjoy the blog, and that’s been pretty cool too.  So, thanks everyone!  I’ll do my best to continue to entertain you, (hopefully less often) stir up controversy, and generally thieve relatively unimportant moments of your life away from you that you’ll never get back 🙂

Alright, on with the show…

Mike Gillis tried to fax Luongo his termination, but got a busy signal. Oh well, only 11 more years...


Why on earth does faxing still exist?  It’s like laserdisc-like invention that we seemingly got too excited about too early, and then made waaaay too big of a commitment to.  It was a pretty revolutionary idea for its time, no question.  But by the time email rolled around and made it obsolete, every business in North America was still too proud that they had their shiny new fax numbers listed in the phone book, and weren’t willing to give them up.  And like the gasoline engine, or Robert Luongo’s 12-year strangling overpayment deal, we’re in too deep and/or just too proud to get out now.   


After all man’s technological advancements and inventions, the power still goes out when it gets stormy. Can we solve that already?  We can broadcast a zillion useless channels to every TV on the planet, move ourselves with every form of transportation imaginable on and off the planet, and even create objects capable of leaving the solar system; but we can’t quite figure out how to keep the lights on when grey clouds roll in and it starts to rain.


so, the iPad is basically just a big iPhone that doesn’t make calls? What do I need one of those for?  Of all the things I need to carry around that doesn’t fit in my pocket, is an oversized electronic rectangle one of them? 

Any iPad owners out there?  Are you happy with your purchase?  In 200 words or less, tell me why or why not, in the form of a comment. 


We recently discovered water on the Moon & Mars, which we previously believed to be barren,  and found shrimp-like creatures living in frigid Antarctic  waters… Does anyone else get the feeling we don’t know as much about the universe as we thought we did?

How long until we start sending Honda Asimo’s to other planets to settle new civilizations?  And of course, how long until they become self-aware, and enslave the human race?


Are we done using the “it’s European” excuse to wear ridiculous things skinny jeans, faux-hawks, and man-purses  in North America yet?  Can we just let the Europeans be the Europeans already??  Have we still not learned anything from Seinfeld???


It’s unfortunate that misogyny is a negative word. Everyone likes massages, don’t they?


Girls that have been told they look like their dad, or their brother, or some other male, probably shouldn’t get boy haircuts, right?


Do you think the job market is as tough for crustaceans and other sea life as it is for humans?  Example: the Alaskan Pollock fish that are masquerading around as crab and being sold as imitation crab meat, just because they’re lower in cholesterol and cheaper; do you think they’re putting hard working real crabs out of work?  Yeah me neither.  The crabs are probably pretty pumped about not being swiped out of their existence and being boiled to death, I’d say.

  1. Brent Peters
    June 3, 2010 at 1:08 pm

    Fax should at least begin to become a swear word soon – thing is, computers haven’t ushered in the paperless age, either… habits. Keep’em coming Dave

    • June 3, 2010 at 1:14 pm

      Fax does sound awfully close to another ‘f’ word I’m familiar with…. maybe I’ll just start substituting it in… fax this! haha, not bad…

  2. Shannon
    June 3, 2010 at 2:43 pm

    Dave! I SO get the ipad rant! Is it an electronic book? Is it a computer? I have a computer – a netbook, I love it and it folds up so it’s all safe and protected. What the heck would I do with that ipad?? Besides all that, I have serious issues with books going electronic. While I love the idea of saving trees, I just can’t seem to stomach the idea of all the office drones of the world turning off their computers at work after staring at them all day, just to curl up with a nice computer book to unwind in the evening. Like, seriously? And what will I take with me to the beach to read? An ipad full of sand and lake or sea water doesn’t sound that fun to me. Or… do they have an app for that??

    • June 3, 2010 at 7:10 pm

      haha, they very well might have an app for that scenario… you’ll have to ask someone else though, as I do not own even one i-_____ item; not a pod, tunes, phone, pad, or whatever else exists, nor have I been to the fabled app store, where all these apps are bought and sold. I did demo one at Future Shop recently; they are interesting, but I’m not ready to trade in my laptop for one yet by any means.

      Interesting point about the drone screen staring… I know my eyes start to get a little furly after staring at my computer for any prolonged period of time. I’m not a reader myself, but I don’t think I could handle another stare session either. I’m sure you could take the iPad to the beach, but after getting a little water on it, I’d envision you skipping it as an $800 stone rather than a paperback tale of love and adventure.

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