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Archive for December 10, 2010

Cranial Cleanse: CCM Caught Copying, Soft Reassessment, Intentional Tears, Taliban Takeover, Christmas Shopping/Cute Female Override, & Rider Donuts.

December 10, 2010 10 comments

Bauer Vapor x:60's Limited Edition from 2009 (left) & CCM Crazy Light's from 2010 (right)

CCM’s new Crazy Light skates are just blatant Bauer Vapor x:60 rip offs, aesthetically, are they not? I’m sure they’re made different and all, but look at these pictures, and tell me the CCM guys didn’t at least once say to themselves, “well, if we can’t beat ‘em, lets copy join them.”  It’s an interesting move considering that Bauer has been running away with the skate popularity race for years.  It seems a little surrender-ish from a company that had a lot of people swearing by CCM Tacks for years.  I wonder if their Reebok owners had any input into the design?

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Is it a little disturbing to know that a “baby’s butt” has been determined to be the standard in smoothness, and that this fact is verified and supported by most people? Who’s feeling all these baby’s butts to compare? Potentially worse yet is the thought of a guy with a baby’s butt in one hand, and a comparative object in the other, saying to himself, “Nope, I’m gonna stick with the butt. Still the softness standard to me.” FIND SOMETHING LESS WEIRD TO BE THE SOFTEST THING IN THE WORLD.

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When it comes to shampoo, why is it that when you’re no longer a baby, you’re immediately subjected to the eye-burning formulation? Why can’t all shampoo not hurt when you accidentally get it in your eyes?

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If you’re in the Taliban and you keep hearing on the news about when the armed forces of the US, Canada, and other countries are planning on pulling out of the Middle East, aren’t you just saying to yourselves you’ll just keep hanging on until they’re gone?  Seems like an ineffective peace strategy when literally anyone can look up whatever information they want on the internet.  Hint to North American forces, they don’t all live in caves as you might presume…

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Christmas shopping overrides the importance of all other shopping outings of the year (birthdays, etc).  It takes place all year round, not uncommon to be heard of happening in mid-June, and sometimes Christmases in advance for the hardcore.  But honestly, the hype around that one hot item of the year that everyone wants…I mean, unless you need the Tickle Me Elmo (or whatever it is this year) in your closet for 8 months that bad, everything you need is available from somewhere, either in store or online,  right up to Christmas Eve. And when you pull in to the mall parking lot on Christmas Eve to get that one last present you need to complete your season’s shopping experience, signal to turn into the ONE empty spot in the whole lot, and then slam on the brakes halfway into the spot when you see this sign, how angry would you guess you’d be, on a scale of 1 to 10 (1 is clam happy, 10 is volcanic)?  I get the whole “green initiative” thing, but this really steams me.

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Speaking of override, once a woman gets the notion that someone or something is “cute” in their mind, there is no turning back. The female recognition of cute overrides all rational and logical thinking. Every man knows he’s heard lines from girls like, “Oh that baby’s so cute, lets buy everything in the world for him!” or “That Leonardo DiCaprio’s a terrible actor, but he’s just so…darn…cute… we should go rent all his movies right now, and tomorrow I’m flying to LA to stalk hi– wait, I mean for, um, business….” or any stereotypical story where a girl falls for a complete numbskull who ends up beating her, getting her pregnant and generally destroying her future all because she thought he was cute, to which all we can (legally) do as males is just shake our heads. Well maybe not all the scenarios are like that last example, but you get my point.

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And lastly… not even Tim Hortons’ special edition Saskatchewan Roughriders sprinkle donuts were enough to bring the 2010 Grey Cup back to Regina.  After all the over-hyping and pro Rider media, you gotta respect Montreal for repeating as Grey Cup champions.

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