Home > Random/Rants > Cranial Cleanse: Reality Renormalization, Ben Franklin, Akon, Bowl Games Boggle, Catfish, Spelling, and Special Feature Shh’ers… You Know Who You Are.

Cranial Cleanse: Reality Renormalization, Ben Franklin, Akon, Bowl Games Boggle, Catfish, Spelling, and Special Feature Shh’ers… You Know Who You Are.

February 16, 2011 Leave a comment Go to comments

Can we just go ahead and properly rename “reality” shows like Survivor, Big Brother, etc as regular game shows, like they actually are?  In what person’s twisted “reality” do you get deprived of food and water for extended periods of time, purposely betray trust and stab people in the back, and generally do whatever it takes to screw people out of a large lump sum of money and obtain it for yourself?  What is the big difference between “reality” tv and a gameshow, that a “reality” show is not filmed in a studio, and sometimes they go outside? 

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When someone makes an ambiguous statement, and then follows it up by saying “You know who you are”, in reference to anonymously calling out people who do what’s being talked about;  sometimes that subject’s identification is a lot hazier than the speaker realizes.   It’s a lot like when someone that you don’t know is waving at someone behind you, but you don’t realize there’s someone behind you, and you think the mystery person is waving at you, and you question yourself whether you should point at yourself and mouth “me?” to the person, or not.  Then you turn around and realize there’s someone behind you returning the greeting.  You also conclude that, you’re an idiot that no one wants to wave at.  Moral of the story is that people need to be more specific; you people who are purposefully general, you know who you are…

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I hate every song Akon sings.

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The whole college football “bowl” season’s popularity boggles me.  It’s great when teams like my friend Adam’s favourite Oregon Ducks make it to the legit national championship; but for all the other bowl game’s whose participants are voted in rather than earning their spots, I have a hard time giving them much cred as they lay claim to the “prestigious” Godaddy.com Bowl Championship, and other such farce trophies.  I mean, are college football teams actually excited to win the godaddy.com Bowl? Can u tell someone you won that with a straight face and legitimately be proud of yourself?

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No disrespect to people out there who choose to use online dating services to find a mate, but if you do, do yourself a favor and see the movie “Catfish” first.  Please.  I won’t spoil the movie for you, but basically a woman grossly misrepresents herself through an online relationship and the guy calls her on it.  It’s pretty nutty.  On paper, you would think online matching services would be able to very scientifically and appropriately pair people, BUT that only has a chance of working when truthful data is entered.  Granted, the movie isn’t based on an online dating site (rather, an email/facebook connection), but the same premise still applies.

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I really enjoy the “Special Features” option on DVD’s; you know, deleted scenes and whatnot.  But the one thing I just don’t get why anyone would want to see/hear it is the movie’s audio commentary (usually by the director, actors, or people involved in the film) dubbed overtop of the show and drowning out the movie’s dialogue – I mean, who wants to watch a movie while someone’s talking the whole time?  Isn’t this just a “shhhh’ers” crowning moment?

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It’s a good thing electricity was invented; at this point, there wouldn’t have been enough trees left on the planet to burn for heat and light for the 7 billion people of today.  Well played, Ben Franklin.

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Accidentally misspelling “lose” as “loose” automatically makes your sentence twice as hilarious (laughing at you, not with you, hilarious), and makes you look like twice the idiot.

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  1. February 17, 2011 at 7:41 pm

    Wow, this blog post could be the definition of random! You’re rocking all sorts of topics today (online dating, trees & electricity)?! On the online dating thing – I heard a stat yesterday that 1 out of 8 weddings in 2010 were made possible because the people met online.

    • SDC
      February 18, 2011 at 3:01 pm

      1 out of 8?? What lazy-ass only polled 8 couples, and couldn’t hang on for two more interviews to make the standard 10? Either way, I don’t have a hard time believing it.

  2. Harry Stamper
    February 18, 2011 at 4:00 am

    A few LOLs in here. Keep up the good work Dave. Ever done any standup?

    • SDC
      February 18, 2011 at 3:03 pm

      Ha, thanks bud. I’ve done stand-up a million times in my head, but never in real-life. I’ve actually considered it though, and I’d think I’d like to try it out, if only once. Nothing shows you more accurately if you’re as funny as you think you are than a live, drunk audience!

  3. Shane Marsh
    March 9, 2011 at 9:10 am

    my favourite part of the special feature’s is the audio commentary. i only watch that part when it’s a great movie and i want to see a litle glimpse of what the director or writer was thinking during the filming or writing of the movie. if i watch a great movie and i will then right away watch it again with the audio commentary on. i …dont do this for bad movies and i hate it when the actors are doing it but i am interested in movies like u r interested in space. it can be a crazy experience to write and/or direct a movie and i want to know what that experience was like. example of a movie i watched with the audio commentary is eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. if u ever watch that movie you will know why i wanted to hear more about the process of making it.

    • SDC
      March 9, 2011 at 9:21 am

      Eternal Sunshine is an awesome movie, and that sort of content I’d be interested in knowing what the director’s thought process was too; I think I’d just rather just see an interview with the director talking about it, or read little snippets about certain scenes, etc. Watching the show and learning about it at the same time is too much for me to comprehend, but I definitely see the value of it, especially to someone who’s really into movies and the filmmaking process.

  4. ryley
    March 25, 2011 at 6:22 am

    I have to disagree with you stunning, I love the audio commentary feature. As shane mentioned, in movies I like (particulary scenes that I like) I like to see if the director gives us a reason behind the scene. What I can’t stand is when the actors do the commentary.
    You really realize the skill of speaking seem to turn off for a lot of these people as soon as the camera isn’t on them.
    And also….why the akon hate 😛

    • SDC
      March 28, 2011 at 11:09 pm

      well that’s fair. I think I don’t care for it mostly because I rarely watch a movie twice, and if I do, I don’t want to hear someone talking the whole time while I’m trying to enjoy it. I understand the appeal to movie buffs though.

      And Akon, I just hate hearing his whiny voice repeat the same old BS over and over in a chorus, and I want to destroy whatever device is playing his voice anytime I hear it.

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