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Stuff That Sucks 5: Limited Edition Food, Pay For Air, Fat-Pants Accomodation, C’Mon Kumon, and a Future Shop FAIL

October 20, 2011 1 comment

Welcome to the 5th Edition of “Stuff That Sucks”, where I post pictures of the most asinine things I’ve seen lately.  And make fun of them for being ridiculous.

Limited Edition Strawberries and and Tomatoes, hey?  Let me guess: limited to as many as you can grow, import, and sell each season?  Clever marketing pitch, but how stupid must we be to think that we’ll never see strawberries or tomatoes like these again after they’re gone?

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Well, they’ve finally done it.  After years of being gouged by billion-dollar oil companies on the price of gas, they’ve chosen a new product that we can’t live without to pillage us on.  Yes, the fine people at Shell (and some others too), have decided to now charge us for AIR.  You know, OXYGEN, the element we all depend on to breathe and survive.  I’m sure the argument is that it’s to offset the price of operating their little machine, but come on now.  So the next time you have a flat tire, or feel that the air you’re breathing around you at the car-exhaust-laden refueling station isn’t clean enough for you to ingest, you’ll have to pony up 50¢ to get your fill, taxes included.

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Attention Wal-Mart shoppers:  have you noticed yourself become to fat to fit your pants from eating at our in-store McDonald’s too often, but don’t want to buy new pants based purely on pride?  Your days of living in shame are over — pick up the Perfect Button beside the check-out aisle, and EXTEND THE WAIST OF YOUR PANTS to quench your blood-flow-restricting issue.

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I don’t know about you, but if I was a kid who was having academic trouble in school, and could benefit from the assistance of a tutor, I can’t imagine that Kumon, the one whose name looks like it’s pronounced like “c’mon“, as in “c’mon, idiot, why don’t you get this, it’s easy“, and features a confused happy-face-like caricature as it’s logo, would be at the top of my list as comfortable choices.  These kids are probably not exactly swimming in self-confidence already; is this really what you want to call your business?

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I mean, why even put this sign up in the first place?  You’re better than that, Future Shop.

 

 

 

 

Stuff That Sucks 4: FAIL Edition. Fake Grass, Creme Eggs, Twitter, and Fat-Cats

July 19, 2010 6 comments

 

So in an effort to lighten the mood around here after recent events,  I’m returning to my blogging roots, and  presenting you with some moderately humorous pictures and observational commentary on said pictorials, in hopes of getting a few snickers out of you (the laughter, not the chocolate bars.  Unless you feel like sending those too).  Without further adieu, the 4th installment of “Stuff that Sucks” is here, with a special FAIL edition! {editors note: I’m not in anyway affiliated with FAILblog, though I find it hilarious.  I’m too lazy to send these in to them, and I doubt they’d post them anyways}

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So Syn-Lawn and other artificial turf installation companies have come out with a product that eliminates the need to water, cut, or generally maintain a lawn.  Great for the lazy guy– until they discover that weeds have adapted to their attempted extinction, and found a way to grow right through their imitated sworn enemy.  Um, refund, anyone??

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 Cadbury Creme Eggs are hands down the greatest Easter chocolate product on the market.  There isn’t a bunny, marshmallow chocolate, or any other cocoa contender for this title.  I recently found out a friend of mine from high school became a Cadbury Rep since high school, and when I met up with her, she gave me a whole pile of my coveted treats.  So as excited as I was to bite into the current Creme Egg I had corralled into my possession, I was equally deflated when I bit into it — only to discover IT WAS FREAKING EMPTY.

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Ok Twitter, so you’ve got nearly 200 million people “tweeting” through you every month.  You’re sweeping the nation.  You’ve found your way into popular culture vocabulary.  Can you please freaking figure out how to keep yourself open already???  How does a site with this amount of fanfare and popularity have such incompetence at its helm?

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When the top of your couch, futon or other living room sitting aparatus goes from parallel with the floor to a modified “U” -shape from your cat sitting on top of it, it’s probably time for kitty to cut back on the Whiskas Temptations.  My friend Jeff‘s cat, Harley (pictured) doesn’t seem to mind so much.

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