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Posts Tagged ‘hospital’

“Aces & Asses” Volume 3: All Ass Edition.

October 29, 2009 2 comments

This edition features a double dip of despicable.

Recently, my friend Jeff (http://jeff-bourne.webs.com/) had an accident in his wheelchair that lead to an infection in his toes so bad that they needed to be amputated (I’m just going to sum up the story; for a more detailed account of the ordeal, click here: http://www.jtbourne.com/jeffs-ordeal/ ).  So Jeff took it like a man, and entered surgery for the procedure that removed the pinky, ring, and middle toes of his left foot, in hopes of not having to remove his entire foot due to a spreading infection.  The amputation occurred, but Jeff’s body struggled to adapt; he lost nearly 2 litres of blood, began seizuring, and quite soberingly, almost died.  Thankfully he came around, and is recovering now.

Now, here’s the Ass part.  Jeff had a backpack on the back of his wheelchair.  Inside the bag was a laptop; a great hospital time-passer.  Sometime between the initial amputation, room changes, and the life recovery episode, Jeff’s bag went missing. It was later recovered—minus the laptop.  Some jackass (speculatively a drug user looking for pawn collateral) walked into the hospital, and stole the laptop of a man in a wheelchair who was undergoing an amputation, and a life-saving episode.  Is this maybe the most unbelievable thing you’ve ever heard? 

We’ve since learned that Kelowna General Hospital will write it off as an insurance claim, and get Jeff a new computer.  Tip of the cap, KGH.

I don’t wish harm upon many people, but I can think of a few laws I would like to break if I ever ran into the culprit.

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Some people don’t believe in monogamy, and that is their choice.  But some people take this right to opinion a little too far, in my opinion.  I’ve been married for over 2 years now, and I believe marriage to be the definition of love, trust, and commitment between a man and a woman.

The people at the Ashley Madison Agency have created a service that facilitates extra-marital affairs.  Basically a dating site for married people.  You may have seen the ads on TV, or heard them on the radio.  One of their taglines is, “Life is Short.  Have an Affair.” They also offer a 100% money back affair guarantee, bordering the whole service on prostitution.

   I don’t feel like promoting traffic to their website, so I won’t even post a link, but this is all for real.  Oprah, Larry King, Fox News, CNN,Ellen, Dr.Phil, Howard Stern and others have all ran stories on it.  A YouTube search will show you Ashley Madision President and CEO Noel Biderman, a married man and father of two, being lit up by hosts and studio audiences all over the country while trying to justify his service and stance.

Whatever Mr. Biderman uses as a smoke-screen, this is a despicable service.  It promotes infidelity in the hopes that sleeping with someone besides your spouse will provide the happiness in your life that you’ve been missing.  Not only is this an abomination, it’s a flat out lie.  Somehow their guaranteed level of “discreet” will make sure the fallout of families, psychological impact on childen, divorce implications, and every other facet that is attached to cheating on your spouse, will somehow not be an issue. 

These people are making money in one of the most shameless methods I’ve heard to date.  Why don’t terrorists go after these kinds of people (I’m not promoting terrorism)?

Smelly People Beware: The Conundrum Of The Scent-Free Zone.

September 6, 2009 8 comments

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What exactly are my obligations when I encounter a “Scent-Free” zone?  I understand the notion: some people may have an allergic and/or some sort of reaction to the chemicals that are included some scented products.  Ok, that’s fair.  No one wants to be responsible for another person’s hives or seizures, normally.  Additionally, no one wants to have to attend to a person who is suffering said reaction, whether they are trained and properly equipped to do so or not.  I get that part.  But what am I supposed to do once I enter this “zone” smelling like…well…anything?

Whether you’re wearing cologne, deodorant, hair products, or recently laundered clothes (freshly washed clothes are a scent as distinct as anything), everyone smells like something.  If you washed your hair, it smells like your shampoo.  If you washed your body, it smells like your soap.  Your hands smell like whatever you touch.  Your feet…just smell. If you’re a young male who has hopes of fulfilling the empty promises claimed by body-sprays of becoming an attractive female magnet, you may be doused head to toe in Axe.  Even if you neglected to apply your clear blue Old Spice that morning, you’re going to be emitting your natural body scent or some kind (in this scenario, likely a foul one).

So when I encounter a place that has such a warning posted (usually hospitals, or medical centers of some orientation), am I then090520091402 supposed to leave, go home, wash off everything that smells, and then return?  Do I have to make a new appointment if I can’t make it back in time for the current one?  Will they give me a new one if there’s an opening later in the day? Am I supposed to note that place of business, and subsequently every other establishment in the city with the same set of rules?  Should I have a notebook of which to refer to before I get up in the morning to make sure I don’t put anything that smells in case I am going to a scent-free building on that day? What if I forget, and then show up at a known scent-free zone? Will they still admit me? Should I declare my current scents at the front desk?  As you can see, these zones create a vortex of important unanswered questions.

My suggestion is this: they need to put up some sort of scoreboard in the building that everyone can see, instead of the signs.  This board would indicate how many people are currently occupying the building space that have a scent-related condition.  These people would be required to make themselves known upon entering the scent-free zone.  The tally would be placed on the board, and then all who enter would know for sure if it were clear to enter if they had applied any sort of scent prior to arriving.  This would also act as a fail-safe to the weary and prepared person, who had perhaps not utilized and form of scent in hopes of not unintentionally provoking any outbreaks anywhere he went that day, but had packed a bag of deodorant, cologne, or other products that he could later administer when he knew the coast was clear.  It wouldn’t be any sort of prejudice profiling, it would simply allow non-scent reactors to help themselves and scent-reactors go about their days together, happy and healthily.  It can’t miss.

It’s either my idea, or put them all in glass boxes like we do to the smokers now.  I think my method is a little more humane, don’t you?

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