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Maple Leafs’ Major League Damage Control

April 10, 2012 Leave a comment

You know things went bad when you have to write an open letter of apology to your fans, your head coach and GM have to call year-end state of the franchise press conferences, and betting sites place odds on players from your team being seen walking out of a brothel. These are the things passed on to me regarding the Toronto Maple Leafs’ woes that I want to share with you today.

First the letter, as seen on the Leafs’ website, signed by the Chairman of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment:

Secondly, Brian Burke & Randy Carlyle’s recent press conference — despite Leafs’ ownership believing in the plan that the team has, Burke stated that they’ll be looking for a new goalie to backup James Reimer (that’s code for: adios, Gustavsson), a top line center (that’s code for Rick Nash), someone to assist Dion Phaneuf in leadership (that could be code for Jarome Iginla), and an extra large order of size and hostility. Wait, what does that leave left over to believe in and not change? Here’s the press conference: http://www.cbc.ca/sports/hockey/nhl/video/#id=2221324322

Lastly, the odds, from GR88.com. I can’t imagine a Toronto Maple Leafs player walking out of a brothel would be good PR for the team, especially after this open letter, but the site has odds on it, and a bunch of others too. Scroll down to see who might make you rich with their legal infidelity! (Phaneuf, right? Lupul? Kadri? Who’d you wager?)

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FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE:

ONTARIO’S STANCE ON BROTHELS, PIMPING SPARKS SHOCKWAVES ACROSS CANADA AND DEBATE ABOUT WHAT WILL BE LEGALIZED NEXT

NEW YORK, NY –  A court in Ontario has ruled that brothels and pimping will be legalized in that province sending buzz through the roof in Canada about how far the ruling will spread, and what it means as far as the legalization of other taboo vices.  With fans burning a trail across the internet to their website looking for answers, the fastest growing sportsbook on the web GR88.com posted odds on a number of questions related to this controversial headline!

Analysts at GR88.com posted the following odds on Brothels and Pimping in Ontario:

Odds on which celebs to be seen walking out of brothel:

Any Toronto Maple Leaf player: 10/1

Any NHL player: 5/1

Any Toronto Raptors player: 8/1

Any NBA player: 3/1

Any Toronto Argonauts player: 8/1

Any CFL player: 4/1

Any Ontario provincial minister: 5/1

Any Federal Minister: 3/1

Stephen Harper: 100/1

Mike Myers: 20/1

Jim Carrey: 10/1

Kiefer Sutherland: 3/1

Keanu Reeves: 5/1

Matthew Perry: 12/1

Ryan Gosling: 10/1

Eric McCormack: 12/1

William Shatner: 50/1

Province by province breakdown of odds to approve:

NFLD: 20/1

PEI: 50/1

NS: 40/1

NB: 50/1

QUE: 5/1

MAN: 10/1

SASK: 15/1

AB: 30/1

BC: 3/1

Will the Conservative Federal Gov’t, led by Stephen Harper, pass a new law to stop Ontario from enacting this provincial law within one year from now:

2/3

Odds on what is legalized next in Ontario:

Marijuana 10/1

Publicly removing bandages 15/2

Paying for a 50-cent item using only pennies 15/1

Caffeine in clear or non-dark sodas 5/1

Pretending to practice witchcraft 50/1

More than 3.5 inches of water in a bathtub 15/1

Tree-climbing 3/1

Purple garage doors 10/1

Back-yard clothes lines 5/1

Dragging dead horses down Yonge Street on Sundays 100/1

Sports and Newsworthy Information can be found at:   www.GR88.com

Media Contact:  Charlie Bernard at 646-592-3590 or cbernard@ccbstrategies.com

About GR88.com

GR88.com (pronounced Great Eight dot com) was designed to bring more fun to the online experience, and is focusing on delivering a unique, entertaining and unparalleled experience.

From first class games, massive jackpots, all huge variety of sports & odds, exceptional customer service, VIP rewards, as well as a simple, easy-to-navigate interface, GR88 is committed to providing an entertaining & enjoyable experience for everyone. GR88.com is backed by a highly experienced International team, and is licensed by Olympian Trading Limited BVI which operates under Maltese, Netherlands Antilles and Kahnawake gaming licenses.

Sports Shorts: Brian Burke Getting Trump-ed, Hometown Hockey Allegiances Query, Basketball Beaks, Marion Jones, and more.

December 1, 2010 5 comments

Sometimes while watching late-night hockey highlights, I’ll zone out and come to again right in the middle of NBA highlights.  As I shake the cobwebs, it’s always a mad dash to get that channel changed asap to something more worthy of my attention (so, pretty much anything else on any other channel, except more NBA highlights).  So, here are some recent sports observations…

Does Brian Burke not ever have 5 minutes to comb his hair and freshen up?  Can we give this guy a 10 minute break for a shower so he can clean up and make himself presentable?  I know it’s a hair-tearing-out environment in Toronto these days, but come on Burkey, you’re getting a little Donald Trump-ish.  I’m sure the potential pending sale of Maple Leaf Sports & Entertainment isn’t helping either. 

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So the Canucks were the heavy pre-season prediction favourite to win the Stanley Cup, then they lost a few, won a few, lost a few more, and now the discussion is that this may be Alain Vigneault’s last season as Canucks coach if they don’t deliver.  Oh, predictable Vancouver bandwagon dumpings…

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If a team moves, and then a new team starts in the same city, should fans cheer for the team that used to be there (which is inherently the same group of people that left), or stay true to the city and cheer for the new one?  Example: Atlanta Flames move to Calgary, become the Calgary Flames.  Atlanta eventually incarnates the Thrashers; so should those original Atlanta Flames fans now return to the homeland and cheer for the Thrashers, or are they justified in staying Calgary fans?  Same scenario in Minnesota (North Stars to Dallas, Wild now in Minny), and Colorado (Rockies to NJ in ’82, Avalanche sprout up) in recent history.

Mitch Pollock is the inspiration for the "Mitch Pollock Made Me Hate The Calgary Flames" facebook group.

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Based purely on talent and consistency, the Detroit Red Wings are the most overall dominant team of the modern age of hockey, agreed?  From the Yzerman and Federov era to the current Zetterberg, Datsyuk, Franzen et al generation, all mixed in with a handful of Stanley Cup wins, it’s tough to argue this isn’t hockey’s version of the New York Yankees.

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The people who broke into Pat Burns’ widow’s car and stole his stuff booked themselves a one-way, non-refundable ticket to hell, did they not?  I’m still rattled at the Hall of Fame that they couldn’t do that guy the favour of waiving his mandatory waiting period or whatever so he could enter the Hall of Fame WHILE HE WAS ALIVE.  3 Jack Adams Trophies for coach of the year honors (on three different teams), and a Stanley Cup; are there deeper pre-requisites for HOF entrance? 

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I recently saw Marion Jones’ ESPN 30 for 30 special… does it say more about Marion Jones and her athletic ability that she walked on to a WNBA with very little previous basketball experience (played with UNC); or less about the WNBA, a league that is supposed to boast the best female basketball players in the world, yet people can just walk on and make their teams, as Jones has done with the Tulsa Shock?

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