Archive

Posts Tagged ‘skiing’

Elevator Rage Elevation, Ironic Trust, Chubby Chicken, and The Worst-Kept-Secret Service.

January 17, 2010 4 comments

 

Do we still have to call them the “Secret Service” if everyone knows about them and can easily identify them?  Considering they let random, un-invited people into Presidential functions, are they even performing

Don't even worry about fitness, they accept old fat guys too. They absorb bullets easier.

the “Service” portion of their title anymore?  Hilariously, you can even go to www.secretservice.gov and click “Who We Are” under the “About” tab, and presumably learn … who … they … are?  Isn’t that a secret too?  Also, don’t worry about being approached by a man in a trenchcoat in a dark alley one night who recruits you and makes yo give up your identity to join the service… all you have to do is click under the “Employment” tab.  Methinks this program is in need of a revamp…

*******************

In a health-conscious age, What in the world was A&W thinking, calling some of their poultry items “Chubby Chicken”?  That’s right up there with calling your joint “Fatburger”, which I just learned, is partially owned by Queen Latifah.  Follow up with your own joke, if you can connect the dots.  There’s a couple of talent agents out there that need to be punched in the face for giving their clients the ol’ “No press is bad press” routine.

*******************

Is it interesting to anyone else that after years of TV, radio and newspaper reporters hunting down stories, embellishing reports, and generally burying people to get their piece in print or on the evening news; that these very same news outlets are going under with the rest of the economy, and are looking for their federal governments to bail them out with the tax money they collect from the very same people that they slander (To be fair, of course their are many outlets that report correct, informative and unbiased material)  The very politicians they’re requesting funds from probably take some of the worst of it all.  Should we let them just fade away?  Probably not; but that’s not to say it wouldn’t be justified in some cases.

*******************

Does it infuriate anyone else when they go into an elevator, select their desired floor, press the “door close” button ( –> <–), and the door DOESN’T CLOSE?!?!?  What in the world is the function of this button if it doesn’t perform the only logical duty its pictorial reference indicates?  Why install a button to tease people?  Is there a guy hiding in the rafters keeling over laughing every time someone presses the button and gets mildly annoyed while they have to wait for the elevator door to close on its own?

*******************

For a culture that has been fuelled on paranoia of criminal activity for so long, there are at least 2 situations that seem to be impenetrable by fear of bad things happening.

First, the airport.  No, we’re still afraid of terrorists hijacking planes, BUT we sure don’t seem too worried about our luggage, do we?  We haphazardly bring it up to the agent, weigh it, tag it, drop it off like a first-grader at school, and send it on its way through that little door out to the back; and then trust that no one in a group of hundreds will steal our bags when we get to our destination and they come falling down the chute and onto a rotating conveyor belt that anyone can easily snag without question from an authority.  Usually, you get your bags; but we absolutely throw a tantrum when we don’t.  I do think the system moves luggage from a to b faster than a formal bag identification system would; but it’s at least interesting that we’ve allowed airlines to handle our possessions in this way for so long and never made much of a scene about it, isn’t it?

Second, the ski-resort outdoor ski/snowboard rack.  You’re up on a very public hill with hundreds of other people, you stop for lunch or some other reason, and prop your plenty expensive skis or board up against the rack; unlocked, without a care in the world.  You come back and hope that no one’s rode off with your $800 board and $500 bindings, or similarly priced ski stuff.  Seems to work though, I’ve still got all my stuff.

 

Christmas Correctness, Head Protection Paradigm Shift, and The Santa Trust Betrayal.

December 22, 2009 3 comments

A few wintery-Christmas thoughts to tide you over for the yuletide season…

They look cool, but my heart tells me different.

I went up snowboarding for the first time this season with my older brother and my cousin.  Not for the first time recently, I, a non-helmet wearer, was outnumbered by helmet wearers.  It seems head protection is actually becoming popular, though helmets have been associated with lameness since social interaction was invented.  When I was growing up, the kids who had to wear helmets while riding their bike were always the brunt of jokes.  I was supposed to wear a helmet.  Usually though, my green head-shell would end up dangling off of my handle bars soon after I was out of house sight.  So despite all the bike safety workshops, jamborees, and parents trying to make it seem “cool” for kids to wear helmets; we all fought it tooth and nail.  Hockey, baseball, and contact sports?  No problem.  Everyone else has to, so no big deal.  Riding a bike near irresponsible motorists, or screaming down a hill at car speeds and taking jumps off of small cliffs… what are you insane? What if one of my friends saw me wearing a helmet?   

Protect my head? Wow, you’re a real loser man. Hey everyone, come look at the loser!

So here we are 1/10th of the way into the 21st century, and the paradigm has begun to shift.  I pose this question to you:

Are you a helmet wearer, or non-helmet wearer?  Why?

                                       ******************

Except for the real-life Scrooge’s out there, everyone loves Christmas.  Whether the religious background, the gifting giving/getting, time off work, family visits, or whatever, we all get wrapped up (pun) in the holidays somehow.  The whole Santa Claus thing is great fun, but have you ever stopped to consider what adults may be doing to children, psychologically, by lying to kids about a magical being that rewards them for being good at certain points in the year? 

Between Santa and the Easter bunny, we’ve created a whole folklore of deception around these  made up holiday icons; and then as the holders of kids’ established trust, we go and straight up lie to them to make them behave better.  The Easter Bunny’s pretty cut and dry; just the bunny hopping around with a basket of eggs.  But Santa’s got a home at the north pole, a workshop, wife, transportation, method of delivery, you can write letters to him and have “him” write back, “he” comes to the mall and you can sit on his lap and ask him for stuff (the good ones even have real beards), and even the local weatherman will report on the location of Santa’s sleigh on Christmas Eve as the Doppler radar “picks it up”.  Movies, TV, and other media outlets all present supporting evidence for kids teetering on non-belief like, “of course Santa is real” or Santa himself saying that he can’t fly his sleigh because not enough people are believing in him these days.  I don’t blame kids who believe in them way longer than they should. 

Look, don’t get me wrong, it’s a lot of fun and kids love it.  But isn’t it just at least ironic that as adults of all denominations (moms, dads, uncles, aunts, older siblings, etc) work so hard to establish characters of these kids, we, the most trusted figures in the childhood, go and betray that trust so very early in their lives, for such a long period of time?  With the stigma attached to the stereotypical “rebellious teenager” who hates their parents, is it possible that some of their issues have something to do with broken trust?

I’m not saying shut down the whole Santa thing, but maybe there’s a better way to present the notion.  Ideas?

                                      ******************

The whole PC holiday greetings are getting a little out of hand, aren’t they?  Stores are actually banning their employees from saying Merry Christmas to customers; fearing offense and public backlash, leading to a drop in sales.  I grew up in Western culture, with North American institutions, celebrating Christmas, so Merry Christmas is natural to me.  Though the true meaning of Christmas is centered in Jesus Christ, you don’t necessarily have to be a Christian to say it.  I have no problem wishing someone a Happy Chanukah, Kwanza, or whatever they may be celebrate if I’m aware of it.  Quite frankly, I just don’t know/haven’t met anyone who celebrates those other holidays.  I’m sure they’re very nice people.  So am I supposed to only wish “Happy Holidays” as a blanket term in hopes of not offending people? 

Here are my questions to you.  What holiday do you celebrate over winter vacation?  What greeting do you prefer to say to others, and what would you prefer people to say to you?  Does someone saying “Merry Christmas” to you, actually offend you?

Merry Christmas / Happy (your winter occasion here)  everyone!

%d bloggers like this: