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Posts Tagged ‘TV’

Elevator Rage Elevation, Ironic Trust, Chubby Chicken, and The Worst-Kept-Secret Service.

January 17, 2010 4 comments

 

Do we still have to call them the “Secret Service” if everyone knows about them and can easily identify them?  Considering they let random, un-invited people into Presidential functions, are they even performing

Don't even worry about fitness, they accept old fat guys too. They absorb bullets easier.

the “Service” portion of their title anymore?  Hilariously, you can even go to www.secretservice.gov and click “Who We Are” under the “About” tab, and presumably learn … who … they … are?  Isn’t that a secret too?  Also, don’t worry about being approached by a man in a trenchcoat in a dark alley one night who recruits you and makes yo give up your identity to join the service… all you have to do is click under the “Employment” tab.  Methinks this program is in need of a revamp…

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In a health-conscious age, What in the world was A&W thinking, calling some of their poultry items “Chubby Chicken”?  That’s right up there with calling your joint “Fatburger”, which I just learned, is partially owned by Queen Latifah.  Follow up with your own joke, if you can connect the dots.  There’s a couple of talent agents out there that need to be punched in the face for giving their clients the ol’ “No press is bad press” routine.

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Is it interesting to anyone else that after years of TV, radio and newspaper reporters hunting down stories, embellishing reports, and generally burying people to get their piece in print or on the evening news; that these very same news outlets are going under with the rest of the economy, and are looking for their federal governments to bail them out with the tax money they collect from the very same people that they slander (To be fair, of course their are many outlets that report correct, informative and unbiased material)  The very politicians they’re requesting funds from probably take some of the worst of it all.  Should we let them just fade away?  Probably not; but that’s not to say it wouldn’t be justified in some cases.

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Does it infuriate anyone else when they go into an elevator, select their desired floor, press the “door close” button ( –> <–), and the door DOESN’T CLOSE?!?!?  What in the world is the function of this button if it doesn’t perform the only logical duty its pictorial reference indicates?  Why install a button to tease people?  Is there a guy hiding in the rafters keeling over laughing every time someone presses the button and gets mildly annoyed while they have to wait for the elevator door to close on its own?

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For a culture that has been fuelled on paranoia of criminal activity for so long, there are at least 2 situations that seem to be impenetrable by fear of bad things happening.

First, the airport.  No, we’re still afraid of terrorists hijacking planes, BUT we sure don’t seem too worried about our luggage, do we?  We haphazardly bring it up to the agent, weigh it, tag it, drop it off like a first-grader at school, and send it on its way through that little door out to the back; and then trust that no one in a group of hundreds will steal our bags when we get to our destination and they come falling down the chute and onto a rotating conveyor belt that anyone can easily snag without question from an authority.  Usually, you get your bags; but we absolutely throw a tantrum when we don’t.  I do think the system moves luggage from a to b faster than a formal bag identification system would; but it’s at least interesting that we’ve allowed airlines to handle our possessions in this way for so long and never made much of a scene about it, isn’t it?

Second, the ski-resort outdoor ski/snowboard rack.  You’re up on a very public hill with hundreds of other people, you stop for lunch or some other reason, and prop your plenty expensive skis or board up against the rack; unlocked, without a care in the world.  You come back and hope that no one’s rode off with your $800 board and $500 bindings, or similarly priced ski stuff.  Seems to work though, I’ve still got all my stuff.

 

Shut Up Fashion Critics, Vest Veto, and that Damn TLC Channel.

December 10, 2009 10 comments

My wife and I have a rule against “Media Monopoly”, which means that you can control the TV, or you can control the computer, but you can’t monopolize both at the same time. If you’re sitting at the computer and you don’t like the show that the other has chosen, too bad. If you’re watching TV and the other person leaves the room for some reason, no cutting in while they’re gone. Fair is fair. My wife likes to “accidentally” leave the TLC Channel on whenever she’s finished watching TV. Because our computer is within seeing and hearing distance of said TV, I generally have to endure at least the audio of these programs while I’m in the room. So from having to endure the sounds of non-stop reality this and reality that, I’ve formed a few thoughts that I need to express:

Does it seem like TLC is kinda getting a little exploitative of the whole reality scene lately? It started out harmless enough with home-reno shows and stuff.  I personally thought the “real” reality TV concept was a superior approach over the “throw-them-in-the-jungle-and-make-them-play-games” version we get crammed down our throat.  But now the reality show market has become so saturated that it’s like a competition to see whose show features the biggest circus attraction. “This mom had 8 kids, let’s watch her for a while. Wait, we’ve got another family with 12 kids, film them. Whoa, hold on, This family has nearly 20 children, hmm that’s more interesting. Hey, our show about little people is popular, let’s spin it off and ride that out for a while. Hey, these people are good at making fun of people for not knowing how to dress themselves, that’ll bring in ratings.”  Which brings me to my next point:

Are Fashion critics not the lowest form of professional criticisers?

“Oh, she wore that color with those pants? Those shoes with that color print? What was she thinking?!? It’s a travesty against humanity that she’s out in public wearing that!!”

No, the fact that you’re getting a paycheque to belittle people is a travesty. Look jackasses, people go into their closet and put stuff on according to how they feel about it. Granted, some people do need some assistance in their co-ordination, but can we power-down the drama a bit? They’re people, and they’re wearing clothes. Big deal. Why should they care what you think anyways? If that’s too much for your brain to compute, then maybe you should consider a new line of work, or at least some medication. People who judge others strictly upon their appearance is just so petty, isn’t it?

Speaking of clothes though, is there a garment more impractical that the vest? Why would anyone want to wear a jacket with no sleeves? You can’t wear a vest in the summer, because it’s too hot. You can barely get away with it in the fall, and then by winter it’s entirely useless. Maybe the tail end of spring could see it back in the line-up. But for a fraction of 2 separate seasons’ worth of action, sleeveless garments are a poor in‘vest’ment (pun intended). Also, you (deservingly) have to put up with heckles like, “Hey, who stole your sleeves?” and similar cracks at your sub-intelligence of clothing choice. Unless your name is “Stone Cold” Steve Austin, or you’re due on stage at “The Tool Box”, do yourself a favour and don’t wear a vest.

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